Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Time to Go 

This will probably be my last post this year so it's about time I really got into the spirit of things:

Merry Christmas Everybody

The Christmas Parodies (No 1) 

The last: Dah dah dah da da dah, dah dah dahhhh.......

Yes it's number 1, the one you've all been waiting for, it's.... oh bugger this, I don't think John Lennon ever thought his famous lyrics for "Happy Christmas/War Is Over", would be abused like this:

So this is Christmas
I thought there'd be more
I'm starting to wonder
What is Christmas for?
And so this is Christmas
I thought I'd have fun
But it's already over
Before it's even begun

A disappointing Christmas
And a crappy New Year
I hope next year's is better
But I don't really care

Disappointing Christmas.

Oh, in case I don't manage another post before the big day:

Merry Christmas Everybody and here's to A Happy New Year.

Tuesday, December 23, 2003

What The Hell Is A Pfeffernusse Cookie? 

You are a pfeffernusse.
What Kind of Cookie Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

Nicked from about pip again.

A Thought For Christmas 

More than 2,500 people will die unnecessarily in England and Wales this week as a direct result of the cold weather,....... most of the avoidable fatalities will be caused by cardiovascular and respiratory diseases that strike older people living in damp and cold housing, or going outside without wrapping up warmly........ Each winter, a higher proportion of the UK population die as a direct result of cold snaps than in either Finland or Russia, where people are better prepared for low temperatures..... Source: The Guardian"

THINK: Is there anything you can do to help lower these figures?

The Christmas Parodies (No 2) 

"I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day" might be thought of as a Wizzard of a song in some circles but it just failed to make number 1 in the list. The parody is probably more apt for a post Chrismas song, at number two it's: Thank God It Isn't Christmas Every Day:

Oh when the postman brings the bills
It's a very bitter pill
Like a great big custard pie into your face

If you jump into your bed
And you cover up your head
Hide from the tax inspector
But the debt collector's on his way

So thank God it isn't Christmas everyday
When the kids start screaming and the credit cards to pay
So thank God it isn't Christmas everyday
Watch the bills roll in at Christmas

Thank God It Isn't Christmas Every Day, for the full lyrics to this sterling effort, you know where the click is.

Monday, December 22, 2003

Pssst! Wanna Lick The Aussies Again? 

Click the picture to find out more about the new stamps commemorating England's Rugby World Cup win.


I nearly forgot the Yorkshire Pudding mix, that would have been a disaster.

On the Last Lap 

Well it's all quiet here in Lozenge land, all presents bought and wrapped, all cards sent, The turkey and joint of beef sit ready in the fridge. We have sausages and bacon ready for the much loved "Devils on Horseback".

We've got lagers and Murphy's chilling in the fridge, along with bottles of Cava, Merlot, Moondarra chardonnay. Just in case we feel like a drop of the hard stuff, I've got a bottle of whisky handy and Mrs C has an unopened bottle of Cointeau. I think that little lot should see us and the 'kids' through the festering season.

The only problem I forsee is that we have too many bottles of sherry. Mrs C's father always gave us a bottle from his hamper, we never liked to tell him that no one liked it in our house, so we now have 3 unopened bottles in the drinks cabinet. I think I'll have to raffle them off for charity or something.

There's only the last minute fresh vegetables to buy, and some profriteroles for afters and we're all set for the festive pig out. There is only me likes Christmas pud, so I'll forgo the pleasure this year in favour of the majorities favourite for afters.

The sooner work is over for this year the better.

The Christmas Parodies (No 3) 

At number 3 we have a tune that earned millions for the starving in Ethiopia, but I doubt if Sir Bob would have promoted this version so passionately, it seems to be aimed more at Dolly The Sheep:

It's cloning time, duplicates are being made
It's cloning time, mad scientists they have been well paid
and though the population, hasn't enough space to enjoy
there's an extra few more clone births - it's cloning time.....

Do They Know It's Cloning Time. Just do it....

Friday, December 19, 2003

The Christmas Parodies (No 4) 

Johnny Mathis sang "Walking In Winter Wonderland" wonderfully, it's one of the first Christmas songs I ever remember as a child and, I still quite like it. But this version, at number 4, is surely some mistake:

Lacy things - the wife is missin',
Didn't ask - her permission,
I'm wearin' her clothes, Her silk pantyhose,
Walkin' round in women's underwear.

Walking In Women's Underwear. Go for it..... (No I didn't mean it like that, but whatever takes your fancy.)

Thursday, December 18, 2003

The Geek Quiz 

Thudfactor: Quantity over Quality.: "
You are 25% geek
OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at Thudfactor.com

Thanks to about pip for this one.


Spent a busy morning desperately trying to get a product re-branding exercise finished and failed miserably, the afternoon was pretty much a dead loss as we had chosen yesterday to go out for a Chistmas lunch.

After the lunch I think we all felt like Fatty (above) from the Bash Street Kids from the Beano. Check Out Beano Town for the latest online Beano, and the museum of course.

The Christmas Parodies (No 5) 

A quick blast of: Dah dah dah da da dah, dah dah dahhhh.... and we're into the top 5. The Pogues "Fairytale in New York" is one of the few Christmas songs that I like, but not like this:

my net connection failed, using broadband
and then my ISP, said "try another one"
and then it all went wrong, with my modem line too
and I'm off the net again, and my phone lines screwed

Fairytale of Broadband. click to enter.....

Wednesday, December 17, 2003

The Christmas Parodies (No 6) 

Up at Number 6, a childrens favourite as you've never heard it before, Frosty The Dopeman:

Frosty, the Dope Man
Was a very troubled soul
With his big hash-pipe and his coked-up nose
And two marijuana blows.

Frosty The Dopeman. Click for all the lyrics.

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

LOTR! The Truth Is The CGI Ran Away 

It's the greatest and most spectacular battle in the Lord of the Rings trilogy.

But filmmakers faced one surprising challenge - how to keep the computer-generated soldiers from fleeing the battlefield............. It was the fact that you could get a computer to think for itself, that you could get 200,000 agents within the computer to think for themselves.

"So each of these computerized soldiers is assessing the environment around them, drawing on a repertoire of military moves that have been taught them through motion capture - determining how they will combat the enemy, step over the terrain, deal with obstacles in front of them through their own intelligence - and there's 200,000 of them doing that."

I found it hilarious that the CGI combatants took one look and fled the battlefield. Well they did for two years during the making of Return Of The King, that is until the programmers found a way to make the CGI AI stupid enough, to make the combatants stick around and fight. Brilliant. Read more about it here.

The Surgeon (Mrs C Update) 

As usual when visiting the consultants for a review, Mrs C's notes were still at the other hospital. This is a split hospital, with the two main sites being in different towns. The consultants, that Mrs C is under, are based on a different site to where the operation took place. Of course all her medical notes are held where the operation took place.

The problem was soon sorted and her records were located and a taxi was sent to pick them up, wouldn't it have been a lot cheaper to have arranged for the delivery of patient records the day before? There must be an awful lot of money wasted paying taxi drivers to deliver patients notes on a had-hoc basis, it's not the first time this has happened to us either.

Anyway the notes arrived safely, the surgeon in charge of the case was on holiday so his right hand man, who has also been on the case from the start, did the examination. He was really pleased with the progress being made and eased Mrs C's worries about some of the pain she is still experiencing, by explaining why it is happening.

The outcome of the visit is that we have to return in mid February, and the aim of the surgeon is to do the second, reversal, operation in March. This is earlier than expected and welcome news if it is true.

The second op' should mean Mrs C can get back to running a more normal life, sooner than expected. The surgeon also said she can return to work in the New Year as soon as she feels she is able to cope with it, this lifted her spirits even further, so she is now aiming to restart work on 12th January.

A Business opportunity? 

I got this email in my inbox today, trouble is I wasn't aware that I had made an offer to anyone on this blog:

Sir or Madam,

After we had discovered the website of your company, we inspected your offer, which caught our attention, with great interest. We also provided this information to our business partners from regions where we perform our business activities. We were kindly surprised by a great interest and an urgent enquiry for more particular information and sale propagation materiels.

Therefore we would kindly ask for all possible info about your offer. In order to improve the quality of the sale and distribution of your offer, could you please send us all the possible material in printed version. We decided for this option, because Internet is not rather expanded in Eastern Europe. Knowing our market from long-time experience, we know, that a big percentage of transactions follow after the client had the possibility to see a printed version of the offer. Printer prospects constrain more attention, because they are physically in front of the reader. An offer in an electronical form / email, catalog on CD / usually has lower response, because it is rather impersonal. This feature is given by the former mentality system of people and the weak familiarity with IT technologies.

Considering the post-comunistic past of these countries / when all western products were matter of embargo / on this market there is a big demand for quality products from western and overseas countries.

Our company is located in Slovakia and engaged in marketing support and distibution of several types of products in Eastern Europe and Rusia for many years.

Whereas our activities are spread all througt eastern Europe and Russia / 13 states/, we would like to ask you for more sets of your poropagation materials, if possible. It would be wery essential, because we could start the propagation of your products in all the countries at once, which would multiple the possible business contracts.

Hereby we request the terms of possible future cooperation, and the minimum order amount, or the setup order conditions.

Please, send all the information and offer material to the folowing address:........

Hmmm, they want to propagate my products, I didn't know there was a market for bullshit in Slovakia.

The Christmas Parodies (No 7) 

Nat King Cole gave us Christmas Song, Steve Kalaut gives us our number 7, Yuppie Christmas Song:

Chestnuts roasting in the microwave
Jack Frost nipping at your Volvo
Yuletide carols being played on CD and
Folks dressed up to go out shopping
Everybody knows some tofu and some Bud Lite Beer

Yuppie Christmas Song. Yep, you've got it.

Monday, December 15, 2003

Quiet Day On The Blog 

It will be a quiet day blogging wise, today and possibly tomorrow as well. I have loads to do at work, and am taking Mrs C to visit the surgeon this afternoon for a post op' review.

The Christmas Parodies (No 8) 

This song needs no introduction, down at number 8 is "Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer". Come on altogether now:

You know when you're a reindeer it's hard to smell sweetly; running
and flying, you get pretty sweaty; but do you recall the smelliest
reindeer of all..............

Rudolph the brown-nosed reindeer
Had a very smelly rack
He had his head and antlers
All the way up Santa's.......

Rudolph the Brown-Nosed Reindeer. You know the score.

Friday, December 12, 2003

Pogo: The Final Countdown.... 

Pogo has his URL back and has posted his goodbye message. It seems some of the stranger people that frequent the net have left Pogo feeling very uneasy, having read Jacks writings on his site, I don't blame Pogo in the least.

Here's another goodbye to Pogo, your writings will be missed, don't forget to drop by from time to time though.

The Ballad Of Max And Pogo (Cont). 

Pogo's URL cannot be found now, maybe that means Max Cady has released it. Pogo, perhaps now is your chance to grab it back.

Have You Ever Danced With The Devil In The Pale Moonlight? 

Seriously, you're twisted.
You are: THE JOKER!

Which Batman Villain Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Nicked from about Pip

The Christmas Parodies (No 9) 

At this point, you are probably already fed up of hearing those classic tunes, churned out time and time again, in pub's and shops throughout the land, so perhaps our entry at Number 9, will say it for you. To the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen", I give you "God Rest Our Ears from Christmas Songs":

God rest our ears from Christmas songs
The senses they do maim
And even Christ our Savior
Would surely feel the same
The stores play all of them to death
And most of them are lame

They think it sells bags of gifts and toys
Gifts and toys
They think it sells bags of gifts and toys........

God Rest Our Ears from Christmas Songs. Click it to see.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

It Would Be A Great Day If....... 

Today should be a great day because the UK Anti Spam Laws are now in operation, which I wholeheartedly support. Our lawmakers, for once, have taken the correct path on this and have applied the 'opt-in' approach.

The reason I said it that it 'should' be a great day is because it isn't really the end of Spam. For one; the penalties are nowhere near harsh enough. For two; the vast majority of Spam comes from abroad, especially America and they have yet to apply any Anti Spamming laws, so our mailboxes will still be filled with junk, half of which is probably offers to sell you software to block the junk in the first place. Even when America gets their act together, they intend to use the opt-out approach, therefore we will still get the Spam until we specifically request individual senders to stop sending it. The "Land Of The Free" needs to be a little less free in cases like this, I want to be free from Spam and I just cannot see it happening using the 'opt-out' approach.

What a pity the world is full of idiots that respond to the junk mail in the first place. If no one bought anything from the purveyors of crap and filth then there wouldn't be any percentage in wasting money on so many mass mailings.


I got home early from work last night and caught Graham Lyle performing "Wear Your Heart On Your Sleeve" on Top Of The Pops 2, it took me back to early 1971 when McGuinness Flint released their debut album Malt And Barley Blues. My mate raved about it then, I wasn't so sure about it, but do you know; I sometimes find myself humming some of the tunes on that album, to myself in quiet moments, especially the title track and "When I'm Dead And Gone", so it must have made some sort of impression on me.

I remember my mate taking a portable, battery operated, record deck into school during the summer months of that year and playing that album, amongst others, on it during lunch breaks on the school playing fields. There would always be a crowd of kids hanging around discussing the merits, of albums played on that turntable. How it never got broken I'll never know, I guess nowadays it would have been nicked before anyone had a chance to use it.

The Christmas Parodies (No 10) 

Dah dah dah da da dah, dah dah dahhhh. The excitement mounts (NOT!), as we enter the top ten, with a fairly traditional tune: Let It Snow, normally performed by Vaughan Munroe. This ones called "Effing Snow":

Oh the cars on the road aren't gripping
And the driving standard's slipping
And the traffic ain't gonna go
Effing Snow! Effing Snow! Effing Snow!.....

Effing Snow. Just click to see the full version.

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

News On The Home Front 

Mrs C is getting to be a bit more mobile, she drove the car for a bout 5 miles on Friday for the first time since October 21st. She managed a 20 mile round trip on Monday, but this tired her out for over 24 hours. It was a little too much, too soon.

But she is feeling lots better, merely because she doesn't feel so trapped. Hopefully we're off to the Trafford Centre on Friday night, she says she wants to pick what I'm buying her for Christmas. If she manages that, then it will be a big step forward. Obviously there will be a surprise present too, I just haven't figured what that will be yet.

The Ballad Of Max And Pogo 

Like many of us, you may be asking what happened to Dearie Me, Pogo's site. On first appearances it would appear to have been hijacked by someone called Max Cady, that in a way may well be the case.

But there is more to Dearie Me's demise than meets the eye. Pogo had been getting some unwelcome attention from another blogger, and having put up with a load of bullshit throughout the year decided enough was enough and deleted his blog. Whether he will come back is anyone's guess, but I will miss his excellent daily musings and stories.

In the meantime Max Cady jumped in and grabbed the now available Dearie Me URL and set the resurrected URL to redirect browsers to his own site, on the face of it a neat bit of opportunism, but as far as I'm concerned it didn't last long as he's almost as boring as me, if not more so. Therefore the Dearie Me link has been removed from this site, and I have no intentions of visiting Max's site again, I mean Eastenders and Emmerdale are bad enough on TV without writing about them.

Bye for now Pogo, I hope you'll stop by from time to time.

The Christmas Parodies (No 11) 

An Irving Berlin classic hits the chart at number 11, to the tune of "White Christmas" we have "Skipped Christmas":

I'm dreaming that we skipped Christmas
And no one played those awful songs
No more crowded shopping
The suicides dropping
The family pressures finally gone....

Skipped Christmas. Click the link for the rest.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

What Federation Starship Are You? 

You are an Intrepid-class Scout, Starfleet's
frontline sentry. You're a bit of an enigma.
Your grace and intelligence may go unnoticed,
but people rely on you for your insight and

Which Class of Federation Starship are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Thanks to Breanagh for finding this one.

The Christmas Parodies (No 12) 

Coming in at Number 12, an old one to the tune of Jingle Bells, we have "Oh Bomb Bin Laden":

Flying through the Skies
In a twin-jet bomber plane
Through the clouds we go
Laughing all the way.
Bombs on starboard wing
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to fly and sing
A bombing song tonight........

Oh Bomb Bin Laden. Click the link for the chorus.

Monday, December 08, 2003

Strange Google Search 

Apparently I'm the one and only site to appear in the Google search list for: fetish abusing the pennines.

Is there any hope for me?

A Solution To Your Christmas Party Ills? 

It's the season of goodwill, good cheer and bloody hangovers. Well apparently, in case you don't already know, there is a pill available, which can be ordered via the internet, that can stop you getting a hangover. The pill was developed in Russia and used by KGB agents to steal a march on there opponents in the espionage game.

Apparently the KGB invented the drug, just after the 2nd World War, but it wasn't declassified until 1999. I for one will never forgive them, for the suffering they have let me undergo , in all those years of drinking before I found this out.

The anti hangover pill is called RU-21 (Code Name: KGB Pill) and, just in case you are planning a heavy session or two, you can buy it here.

What Colour Are You? 

Yes, I know, it's another one of those colour quizes but, this one has a lot more potential answers, there are 140 possible results. The colours are not just based on primaries, they are based on hue, saturation and lightness:

you are lightcyan

Your dominant hues are green and blue. You're smart and you know it, and want to use your power to help people and relate to others. Even though you tend to battle with yourself, you solve other people's conflicts well.

Your saturation level is very low - you have better things to do than jump headfirst into every little project. You make sure your actions are going to really accomplish something before you start because you hate wasting energy making everyone else think you're working.

Your outlook on life is very bright. You are sunny and optimistic about life and others find it very encouraging, but remember to tone it down if you sense irritation.
the spacefem.com html color quiz

Thanks to The J-Walk Weblog for finding this one.

The Christmas Parodies (No 13) 

At Number 13, I have pleasure in presenting, The 12 Days Of Sickness you'll recognise the tune I'm sure:

On the first day of Christmas my dealer gave to me,
a marijuana tree
On the second day of Christmas my dealer gave to me,
2 hits of acid and a marijuana tree
On the third day of Christmas my dealer gave to me,
3 lines of coke, 2 hits of acid and a marijuana tree

12 Days Of Sickness. Click the link for the full version.

Friday, December 05, 2003

Contact From FriendsReunited 

I recently had an email from an old school and footballing friend, via Friendsreunited. I had asked a question regarding what had happened to the old football team that we had formed after leaving school. Here's my old chums reply:

Well......... we lasted 9 years, before G-- M---- emigrated to Scotland, and it all fizzled out. T------- Eagles live on though, in the form of an annual booze-up in North Yorkshire which we affectionately call the "club-do". This involves a 15-mile walk, loads of beer in somewhere like Egton Bridge and an overnight in an unsuspecting pub. G--, R---- S----, and my brother S---- are perhaps the only names you'll remember. Not sure if you played with R----- W---, S---- B----- and the rest. We still have a laugh over some of the better memories, such as the time you got chaired off after a 2-0 win over the Ladle. They had 99% possession, you made 200 miraculous saves and my Brother scored 2 breakaways. Fantastic. The Ladle team all locked themselves in their cars, as I remember.

It brought a smile to my face as I recalled that match. It was in mid December around 1976. It had snowed earlier in the week, the pitch was frozen solid and and badly rutted, none of us really wanted to play the game, but the Ladle wanted the game to go on, because they thought that they would hammer us, whatever the weather (we were battling against relegation, they were up for promotion). The referee didn't want to call it off because he wanted paying, so we got no real say in the matter. It was so cold one of our forwards, who I'm still in contact with, played with a scarf wrapped around his neck. People skit Junhino for playing with gloves on, but my mate beat him, by nearly 20 years.

As you might have guessed, I played in goal, I might not have made 200 miraculous saves, but I remember the game well and the oppositions' 99% possession was about right. As I recall I did have a decent game that day, but so much was going on in our penalty area, there was no time to think or draw breath, we all just got our heads down and tried to get in the way of what was thrown at us.

And do you know what? The Ladle players did lock themselves in their cars after too, they rejected all offers of getting together in our local club afterwards and missed a cracking lunchtime session, 2 strippers and a comedian, Chubby Brown, but that was before he bacame famous. Teams from outside our area used to like been drawn away from home against us for cup matches, purely because of the after match entertainment.

I tell you what, it's a surprise our local watering hole wasn't drunk dry that Sunday lunchtime.

I Think I might just join in on the next reunion.

Future Dating Experiment. 

Hmmm, it didn't quite work as expected, in order to get the future dated post to show. It seems that I have to logon to Blogger and republish the site after the time each future dated blog is due to show.

Not quite as automatic as I had hoped.


You are a freeform writer. Individualistic with a
sense for the different and challenging, Walt
Whitman and his poetry lacking meter and rhyme
is just what the doctor ordered. You're quick
to write something that the rest of the world
doesn't accept as poetry, quick to separate
yourself from the average joe. An author with a
true sense of self, you have confidence in your
abilities and aren't afraid to show it. :) GO

What's YOUR Writing Style?
brought to you by Quizilla


Nicked from My Innermost Sanctum. Somehow I don't think either of the above fit me.

The Christmas Parodies (No 14) 

At Number 14 we have a parody sung to the tune of the traditional Christmas Carol "Away In A Manger", this one is called "Away With A Stranger":

Away with a stranger, he met on the web
No dating or courtship, they cyber'd instead.

he flew through the sky, he was ready to play.
he knew from the emails her husband was away

Away With A Stranger. Click The link for the full version.

Thursday, December 04, 2003

Future Posting Trial! 

Right that's all the Parodies posts written up and future dated. They should automatically appear at around 8am daily (work days only), between now and 24th December inclusive. That is if Blogger works like it should.

PC Update! 

I've found a later BIOS patch for the motherboard, A09 as opposed to my A05, so at the weekend there is a strong chance that I will kill the bugger altogether.

Mrs C: An Update 

We went to see the onchologist yesterday for the first post op' review. He told us nothing we didn't know already, that is to say that the pathology lab could find no trace of any cancerous tissue left in the removed tissue, which, though we already knew it, it is still good news.

The next hospital visit is a week on Monday, when we see the surgeon, who will be the person responsible for monitoring the situation over the next few years. This will ensure that any possible re-emergence of cancerous tissue will be caught early.

Unfortunately Mrs C is on a downer today, it's one year since her father died of cancer.

The Christmas Parodies (No 15) 

Some blogs have had a makeover for Christmas, I've not got a lot of time for that, so in the run up to the big event I decided to select a parody of a Christmas song/carol for each working day left between now and the big day.

So starting at Number 15, this is a well known tune played every Christmas. the original was by Slade and it's to the tune of Merry Xmas Everybody:

Are you visiting superstores in the fall
It's the time Christmas songs play wall to wall
Does you think the prices are dear?
Can't you wait for Christmas day?
Does that fateful day seem many months away?"

So here's a song about Christmas, Just to get you in the mood
Look, it's October now, you bloody silly fool

Early Xmas Everybody Click the link for the full parody.

Wednesday, December 03, 2003

I Spoke Too Soon 

Oh well back to the drawing board, my PC crashed once again on Monday night, and has yet again screwed the O/S. The patch on the motherboard BIOS seems to be higher than the latest I can find on the Web. I've got A05 as opposed to A04 which has indictions that it will work with XP, so unless the motherboard is just not compatible with XP, I'm wondering if one of either the power unit or power supply is dodgy.

I hate it when things like this happen.

Monday, December 01, 2003


From The Sunday People

  • A BURP that registered 118.1 decibels - about the level of Concorde on take-off - was produced by Londoner Paul Hunn on the set of Guinness World Records in London, April 2000
  • THE record for sitting in a bathtub with the most live rattlesnakes is held jointly by Texans Jackie Bibby (left) and Rosie Reynolds-McCasland. They sat in two separate tubs, each with 75 Western Diamondback rattlesnakes, on the set of Guinness World Records: Primetime
  • KYLE, a collie and Staffordshire bull terrier, swallowed a 38.1cm long bread knife in December, 2000. It stuck in the dog's stomach, pointing towards its throat.
  • A MOTORISED sofa - Casual Lofa - built by Edd China and David Davenport, has a top speed of 140km/h (87mph). It's powered by a mini 1300cc engine, is licensed for use on UK roads and is steered by turning a medium-sized pizza pan.
  • THE largest tumour removed intact was a multicystic mass of the right ovary weighing 303Ib - that's the size of Michelle from Pop Idol. Tests revealed that it was mostly fluid, although teeth and hair were found growing inside
These and many more odd facts can be found here.

The Plastic Pig 

I had the misfortune to watch one of those dreadful American Police chase shows last night, following a pretty awful film called Solo. The reason I watched it was that, after a heavy day and a few bevvies, I felt so worn out I couldn't even be bothered to click the off switch on the remote. The show was called something like "The World's Wildest Police Chases" and it was hosted by an inane grinning monkey, with loads of teeth, called Sheriff John Bunnell.

What is the fascination with these programmes? Ok they involve high speed chases and car crashes with real life criminals, but it is all overly dramatic and as far as I could see the chases and maneuvers involved were bloody dangerous to the other law abiding road users, especially when state troopers were trying to spin the escapees off the road in many cases.

The chases were peppered with the back drop of Sheriff Bunnell's, overly dramatic voice, telling us how dangerous these chases are and how the perpetrators would always be caught and punished. That's all very well but did they really have to use such a false looking frontman.

In fact, he looked so false, I called him the "Plastic Pig", a comment that left Mrs C in stitches for a minute or two.

At Last  

The weekend was spent failing miserably to find a suitable portable TV/DVD combi unit for my stepson's Christmas present, there were plenty about if you were willing to shell out big bucks. I suppose all the cheaper models sold out ages ago. Anyway there was one in a reasonable price range but we were unsure if he'd like it. So in the end we opted to ask him to pick the one he wanted and we'd shell out the cash. Which he was perfectly happy with as he knows he'll get one that he will like that way.

Whilst on the hunt for the above TV, I slipped into a computer store and shelled out for a copy of Norton Internet Security 2004. I'd found an instance of the MS-Blast worm on my PC since installing XP, so after cleaning the infection from my PC, I decided that I really did need a decent Virus protection facility and firewall before reconnecting to the net.

The software was easy to install and at least allowed me to connect to the net and download and install the XP upgrade patches without crashing every minute or so. Having given the PC a clean bill of health, I now feel able to allow the kids and Mrs C to start using it again, for surfing and emails.

At last my home PC is up, working and back online and, I don't have to rely on webmail anymore to collect personal emails from my work PC.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Site Referencers