Thursday, July 31, 2003
Ananova - Beckham scores vote for his picture on the money
They didn't ask me for my opinion. By my reckoning that means two thirds don't want to see his picture on our money. For God's sake, don't we see enough of the publicity puppet in the everyday news as it is? Some of the other choices are mental to say the least. I mean 30% want to see Kylie Minogue on the back of a £5 note. She's not even British.
The State Of British Roads
Other links direct the browser to sites such as SABRE a website for the Society for All British Road Enthusiasts. Can anyone get so excited about a road that they become an enthusiast? Apparently they can SABRE has discussion groups and even live chats on the subjects of roads. The UK Roads Portal gives access to other road related sites.
Possibly my favourite link was the one to Wet Roads or fords as we all know them. I have first hand experience of a number of them on this page, namely: Battersby, Boggle Hole, Bolton Abbey, Commondale, Gayle, Grosmont, Hob Hole, Malham, Middle Rigg, Reeth Low Moor, Staithes, Stokesley, Westerdale and Wheeldale.
I've even submitted one wet road for inclusion myself, one which wasn't mentioned on the site. The ford in question is in the hamlet of Rickford near Burrington, Somerset & Avon. My Pot-holing club used to start our Mendip caving trips in the pub at Rickford many years ago and frequently drove through the ford to get to the pub. I can't recall the name, but it was a real pub, selling real beer and faggots & peas, it might have been the Rickford Arms, sadly I believe the pub landlord (Reg), from those days, has now moved on and the pub is more a yuppie weekend hang out now-a-days.
Inspector Clouseau Strikes
I arrived home at around 21:15 last night to find a note pushed through my letterbox asking me to ring the local police station regarding a moped and a motoring incident which occured, about a half mile from where I live, earlier in the day. I thought odd, I've been at work all day and no one else has been home.
Anyway I ring the number on the note and give the reference number to the officer, who isn't the officer investigating the incident. He tells me there isn't a lot on the log, but whatever it is, it's a minor motoring offence at which a moped driver failed to stop. The rider was seen to head towards my property and then disappeared. After a lot of key-clicking in the background I was told that the officer in charge was currently at another address regarding the matter and would either ring back, before he went off duty, or on Saturday when he was next on duty. Fine I said explaining that there was no way anyone at our house would have been involved as there was no one of the household in the village at the time of the incident.
As I put the phone down there's a knock at the door, it's my neighbour who describes in great detail how someone on a push bike came hammering down our close in a frenzied manner, throws his cyclist helmet to the floor angrily and demands where the motorcyclist has gone, and had anyone seen someone hiding a bike in the garages. The neighbour had assured the guy that no one had come down the close in the last half hour as he could see everything from his garage where he was cleaning his fishing gear. Unperturbed the angry man hung around for about half an hour before leaving.
Next up says the neighbour, a police car turns up within 10 minutes of 'angry man' leaving, he starts hammering on our door, not just knocking but really hammering it, I bet that hurt, as the doors are the security type with steel plates just under the wood. Obviously getting no answer he starts asking our neighbour if he has keys either for the house or garage. he hasn't and actually said look there's no one home, and no one has come this way, what's it all about. 'Cluoseau' answers to the effect that a motoring incident took place up the hill and the drive away moped owner headed in this direction. It turns out 'Angry man' is the father of a girl who's car was involved in the incident. At that point I explained that I had a note and had already phoned the police, blah blah, blah. Neighbour says 'if you need any witnesses to say no one came this way, let me know, etc.'
Phone rings again as I'm going in, it's a local policewoman this time, ringing to tell me that 'Clouseau' is going off duty and won't contact me until Saturday, but she thinks that the offender has been found as they had registration details of the bike involved and had attended the registered owners address that night. Fine says I, but then I explained about angry man and ended: I don't want some steamed up parent hammering on my door thinking we had something to do with the incident, when we actually hadn't. She said that they'd contact angry man and update him on progress. To give her her due, she rang back later to tell me angry man had been contacted and told that we had nothing to do with the incident. It's still not over as 'Clouseau', I presume, will contact us to tie up loose ends.
Well I started to put my own scenario together then and came to the conclusion that 'Clouseau' couldn't detect a piss up in a brewery.
Picture this:
Some motoring incident occurs in village centre and moped rider high tails it in a possible panic down the main road hill. Girl complains to dad, who grabs his push bike and helmet and takes chase. How far ahead has the moped got at this point? Angry man turns left off into our estate, then turns right into our cull-de-sac, did he actually see the moped rider turn at this point? Personally I don't think so, I don't think he could have kept up, our cul-de-sac is the first turn off in the estate. I think angry-man has asked someone if they have seen a moped come into the estate and has been pointed in the direction of our house, because my step-daughter has a Suzuki scooter, which incidentally has been off the road for over a month, she happened to be at her friends house 12 miles away at the time anyway. So Mr Angry says to the police that the bike had been seen heading towards my house and it has the following registration number, blah, blah, blah, one which isn't registered at our house.
Police follow-up assumes evidence from angry-man is correct, but don't check registered address first etc. etc. Unreasonable door hammering and demands for keys follow. Neighbour says 'Clouseau's' attitude was over the top, and his best mate works for the local police.
I've a few questions for 'Clouseau' when he contacts me on Saturday:
- Why was it assumed that we were harbouring an escaped fellon?
- Why were keys demanded from neighbours, I thought warrents were needed for that sort of thing, not that I have anything to hide?
- Why did he hammer on the door as if in a way to knock it down, the bell is pretty loud and can be heard from anywhere in the house?
- Why did he not get follow up on the registration plates of the owner quicker?
- If it was a minor motoring incident and I mean minor (the words used by the first officer I spoke to), why the seemingly heavy handed approach?
- Finally, why did they not respond at all when someone put a huge dent in my car 2 years ago, I phoned and gave details of the car that did it and where they were headed, unfortunately I didn't have a registration number at the time? But we've seen in the above example that that isn't taken into consideration on the first sweep.
- Who exactly said that they saw a bike heading into my house when quite clearly they didn't?
- Oh and why did it take 6 hours to respond to a buglary at my neighbours a couple of years ago, when the neighbour gave full descriptions of the suspects and into which estate they were seen carrying the fishing gear, and why were the suspects never found or charged?
I expect it to all blow over by Saturday, but it left me a little angry myself, notwithstanding my fish and chips had gone cold and had to be microwaved. Ugh soggy batter.
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Four Bananas Make A Bunch
Thanks to quarzan for pointing out the site in these comments on zoe's site.
The Beano Is A Pensioner Today
My parents bought me loads of comics when I was a child, I loved reading and still do. I have to say that the Beano was my favourite comic of them all.
WMD = Weapons Of Mass Distraction
Google Strikes Again
Blake's 7 Set For Hi-tech Return
Tuesday, July 29, 2003
And It's Good Night From Me.....
Goodnight.
How Indie Are You?
How indie are you? test by ridethefader
You're pretty knowledgeable about music in general. You like indie music, sure, but that's only part of it.
You'll listen to any old shit as long as it sounds good to you. You're not snobby about music at all, you
just like what you like. How boring. Curiously, this makes you popular with the opposite sex.
Speeding Pensioner Blasted By North Wales Police Chief
A police chief has hit out at a pensioner who complained after being fined for speeding.
Retired bank manager William Shaw was clocked driving his BMW at 39mph in a 30mph zone through the village of Acrefair, north Wales.
I have no sympathy for Mr Shaw, but does it need a Chief Of Police to speak out against this man, perhaps you'll understand why he did so when you realise that Chief Constable Richard Brunstrom is chairman of the Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) Road Safety Committee. He also heads up the Arrive Alive campaign against speeding in North Wales, which one MP has described as alienating normally law abiding citizens against the police.
What the topics fail to disclose is the crime statistics for North Wales in April 2003, namely 4200 speeding tickets issued (netting £250,000 in fines), opposed to burglary detection rate of 6.1%, that is 18 out of 296 burglaries solved. A home office spokesman claims that this is the lowest known recorded crime detection rate. The stories also fail to show that North Wales police solved only 41 out of 693 vehicle crimes.
Add to this, the call from Manchester's police chief telling his officers, to stop targeting speeding drivers and start catching hardened criminals and I think you'll agree it paints a disturbing picture of law enforcement in the area.
Mr Brunstrom is no stranger to controversy, in the past he had admitted that he would buy heroin for addicts to stop them stealing and has called for the legalisation of drugs, claiming many of the drug problems are caused by the legal system.
So who's got the green light in North Wales then? It isn't the motorists. It's little wonder that law-abiding citizens are in despair. It's time Richard Brunstrom was put on a performance related salary scheme that has no connection to speeding tickets issued.
Are You Stupid? - No Just Another Tourist.
Going back to Lyle's site, I particularly like his rail rant, other rants worth a read are: Oxford and Stun Guns. Boony might wish to comment on the Oxford rant at some point.
Protect Your Privacy - Go Naked!
Shop at Tesco's? Benetton? Do you buy Gilette products? Do you like being spied upon?
Please take the trouble to read this article. It is one of the scariest things I have seen for some time.
Then go to here.
The here at the Guardian.
And here....the CASPIAN SITE.
Then put it on your website. Now. And ask others to do the same.
I'm cutting up my "loyalty" card now...
Monday, July 28, 2003
I'm Monoceros - Which Constellation Are You?
You are MONOCEROS!! Monoceros, is the great unicorn
of the sky. He's a free spirit, and likes it
that way. Odds are so do you! You like being
alone sometimes, but you still have your fun.
Your not chained to anything, and plan to keep
it that way! Your a regular Free Spirit!!
What Constellation Are You?
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Weird & Wonderful Complaints By Tourists
- No one told us there would be fish in the sea. The children were startled.
- We had to queue outside, there was no air conditioning.
- The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the accommodation', We're trainee hairdressers, will we be ok staying there?
- It took us 9 hours to fly to Jamaica from England - it only took the Americans 3 hours
- I compared the size of our one-bedroom appartment to our friends three-bedroom appartment and ours was significantly smaller.
- It is your duty as tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel
- I was bitten by a mosquito - no one told me they could bite.
- We booked an excursion to the water park but no one told us we had to bring our swimming costumes and towels.
- We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as yellow, but it was white
- My fiance and I booked a twin bedded room and we were placed in a double bedded room. We now hold you responsible for the fact that I find myself pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the rooms that we booked.
Finally from an idiot holidaying in Spain:
- There were too many Spanish people. The receptionist spoke Spanish. The food is Spanish. Too many foreigners.
Which one is your favourite, or perhaps you have some better ones of your own?
Friday, July 25, 2003
UK workers talk favourite revenge tactics
Why would any company think that someone they had made redundant, under dubious circumstances, wouldn't think about revenge is beyond me?
A Quarter Of Caramac
You can find more of those great sweets from yesteryear at A Quarter Of. Ahhh sweet memories. Brilliant.
Nigerian Scam Baiting
Thanks to Miel at Offscourings for flagging this one.
Vandals On The Rampage - Police Respond 2 days Later
At least this time the police didn't blame a lack of resources due to traffic duties, Police told the Free Press that technological problems on their non-emergency telephone line were to blame., oh that and teething problems with a new state of the art call centre system:
"We are introducing a new state-of-the-art system at the moment, but there are technological problems so users will have problems contacting us. We just ask that people are patient while we work on a solution."
This highlights some very poor planning by those responsible for commissioning the new system. Didn't anyone think of a setting up a backup/fallback position before introducing a state of the art system that doesn't work? What happened to the idea of parallel running, the new system alongside the old, whilst the new system bedded in?
Patience in the face of poor implementation planning is not enough when crimes are being committed and seemingly ignored.
Thursday, July 24, 2003
Making Music Fun
A couple of parodies relating to current affairs that I found amusing were: I Fought The War and Dubya Is Brainless a take on I Fought The Law and Suicide is Painless. Both parodies were written by William Tong a webmaster for an anti-Republicam Website, I'm sure that you can find better one's if you look long enough.
Another section worth exploring is the Misheard Lyrics section, which provides some amusing entries in it's own right. Take the following:
'The Corrs', "Breathless"
Misheard Lyrics:
Go on, Go on leave me breakfast
Correct Lyrics:
Go on, go on leave me breathless
Take a look at the site, I think there is plenty there to keep you amused for hours.
Commenting Host Changes
Ananova - Tightrope walker must wear hard hat at work
Goussein Khamdoulaev, a performer with the Moscow State Circus, wore the hat for the first time in Folkestone.
The 48-year-old is accustomed to somersaulting on his wire 50ft above audiences and usually wears a Cossack hat.
But he's been ordered to change because he was breaching European regulations covering health and safety at work, reports The Times.
Whilst I agree there is a need for workers to be properly protected in the workplace, I think this is taking things too far. What next, film stunt men? I can see it now the James Bond look-a-like wearing a hard hat in the next blockbuster. For goodness sake, it's part of their job, they understand the risks, they wouldn't do the job if they didn't like the odds against them, they're paid well for the risks they take. That's opposed to those of us who have to take whatever mundane job comes along to make ends meet.
It's the nanny superpower going too far, whatever happened to the concept of taking personnal responsibility for ones own actions?
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
Garbage Pail Kids - Make A Comeback
After 15 years in the wilderness, the gross toilet humour kids sticker series, The Garbage Pail Kids, is due to make a come back this August. As a taster of what's to come here is Harry 'Potter' Potty as you've never seen him before.
Memories Are Made Of This
I've been thinking of doing a blog regarding music I like for sometime, but that's been done by a number of people, so in the way of trying something different I decided to produce a list of songs and/or albums that, no matter when or where I hear them, bring back a specific memory to me. The memory might have been of something good, bad happy, funny, sad or even suicidal at the time, the only criteria for the choice is that it brings to mind a memory without deeply searching for it.
Now the strange thing about the list is that I don't necessarily like some of the songs, but they were relevant, in some way, at the time of the memory. Even the memories aren't necessarily particularly significant, in some cases, they just surface when I hear the song. At this stage I won't list the memories I associate with the songs, or albums, I'll leave that for you to guess.
- Song/Album - Artist
- Rock Island Line - Lonnie Donigan
- Mellow Yellow - Donovan
- Get Back - The Beatles
- Hello Suzie - Amen Corner
- In The Summertime - Mungo Jerry
- Brand New Key - Melanie
- Sugar Sugar - The Archies
- Blockbuster - The Sweet
- School's Out - Alice Cooper
- Diamond Dogs/Rebel Rebel - David Bowie
- Brown Sugar - The Rolling Stones
- Rocket Man - Elton John
- Make Me Smile - Cockney Rebel
- Annies Song - John Denver (1)
- Bad Moon Rising - Creadence Clearwater Revival
- Honky Tonk Woman - The Rolling Stones
- Who's Next - The Who
- Parallel Lines - Blondie
- Beach Boys Gold - The Beach Boys
- Jealous Guy - Brian Ferry
- Three Times A Lady - The Commodores
- Annies Song - John Denver (2)
- Buffalo Soldier - Bob Marley
- One Love - Bob Marley
- Electrc Avenue - Eddie Grant
- You Can't Hurry Love - Phil Collins
- China Girl - David Bowie
- Uptown Girl - Billy Joel
- White Lines - Grand Master Flash
- Piano Man (album) - Billy Joel
- Have I Told You Lately - Rod Stewart
- Two Tribes- Frankie Goes To Hollywood
- Relax- Frankie Goes To Hollywood
- War - Edwin Starr
- Summer In Dublin - Bagatelle
- Walk Of Life - Dire Straits
- Teddy Bear - Elvis
- It´s The Same Old Song - The Four Tops
(the above two are related)
(the above 4 songs are linked to a specific time period)
(the above 3 albums are linked to one memory)
(the above three songs are linked)
(the above two link to one memory)
(the 5 above are linked) - Rock Island Line - Lonnie Donigan
The songs are listed near enough chronoligically in order of memory, not necessarily in order of release. The first memory is circa 1957 and the last is October 1998
Post your answers in the comments, or if they are down, as they seem to be on an increasing basis, send an email using the link in the right hand column.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Template Change
The other thing that seems to be giving me some trouble is my hit counter, the image doesn't show properly though I think the counter is working.
What A Pants Day!
New Antisocial Behaviour Bill
Sections of the government’s proposed Antisocial Behaviour Bill could contravene both the Children’s Act 1989 and the Human Rights Act 1998, according to an independent report commissioned by an alliance of charities.........
We fear that the effect of the bill will be to alienate children and young people from their communities, to scapegoat children and young people and reinforce negative stereotypes,” said a joint statement from the group, which also raises concerns about the lack of consultation on the bill’s measures..........
In all the Governments I've lived under, I don't really know any that have worried too much abut alienation and scapegoat issues, especially if it means more having control over it's people.
The bill also plans to give police powers to return a child to their home after 9pm in certain circumstances, which Jennings condemns as a “nation-wide curfew on young people under 16”. The clause giving police powers to disperse groups of two or more immediately, “contains some breathtaking provisions”, and breaches several parts of human rights legislation.......
Whilst I agree that something needs to be done about gangs of youths that hang about street corners causing trouble, I fear that lots of innocents will be 'punished' because they will be easier targets. Not all groups of youths are troublemakers. Not only that, I wonder how long it will be before the bill is extended to to allow the police to disperse all groups of two or more people?
Meet Your Burglar
Government proposals unveiled by Home Secretary David Blunkett acknowledged that using so-called "restorative justice" schemes as an alternative to prosecution was a "radical" idea.
Maybe I would agree to meet a burglar, but only if I had the right to cut off his hands with a blunt stanley knife.
Mr Blunkett said: "Restorative justice means victims can get an apology from their offender, but it is about more than 'saying sorry' - it provides the victim with an explanation of why the crime was committed. This is something a prison sentence on its own can never do and can enable victims to move on and carry on with their lives."
We know why they do it, it's because they want something we have but they don't, or they want something to sell, to get money which they aren't willing to earn legitimately for themselves.
Pizza Prevents Cancer
Cherie Blair Sings For Chinese Students
Hmmmmm? The truth will always come out in the end.
Monday, July 21, 2003
Muses Restaurant, Ireland
Reasons To Be Thoughtful:
Beverly Hillbillies' Jed Clampett Dies
How Old Are Your Socks?
Some of them i have owned for sometime, probably too long. I am now considering recycling the whole lot and buying loads of new ones.
How long do your socks live?
Join the detate on Guardian Talk.
Friday, July 18, 2003
IraqGate Update
"The body matches the description of Dr Kelly. The clothes do match the description of Dr Kelly's clothes, but we have not yet formally identified the body," a police spokeswoman said.
So is the government heading for a crisis? They certainly deserve one.
IraqGate And The Missing Mole
The MOD are adamant, that Dr Kelly is the mole who passed details, of the 'sexed-up' Iraq dossier, to the BBC and have put the scientist under enormous pressure, since he admitted meeting with the BBC's defence correspondent, Andrew Gilligan.
If the body of the man turns out to be Dr Kelly, who will be held responsible for hounding the man to his death?
Let's face it the pressure from both the media and his employers could have driven him to suicide. Conspiracy theorists might hint that, there's always the chance, the government could have had him silenced, after all 'Tory' Blair has been described recently in the press as a psychopath by his own labour rivals. Even if the death is through natural causes, namely a heart attack, then surely the extra stress and pressure could take a large part of the blame.
Now obviously this is all conjecture, the police haven't even confirmed if the body is that of Mr Kelly, but I really wonder how far the Government would be prepared to go, to cover their own sorry backsides. Just a thought.
Remember one thing, Mr Blair tells lies. How do I know? It's obvious, he's a lawyer. Lawyers will twist any truth to get the outcome that they ultimately want.
Blog Template Change Time?
Big Brother Contestant On Shoplifting Perks
If it's true, then it just shows the sort of idiots would want to appear on this sad excuse for public entertainment. In my view Federico show get a part in another sort of big brother, ie. a long involuntary incarceration, with a different set of contestants entirely. Though knowing how stupid the powers that be are these days, some fool will give Fed' a chance to be a presenter.
Are You A threat To Bush?
Threat rating: Medium. Your total lack of decent
family values makes you dangerous, but we can
count on some right wing nutter blowing you up
if you become too high profile.
What threat to the Bush administration are you?
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So You Want To Work For Ebay?
It's probably worth a trawl through other internal memos on the internalmemos.com site, the search feature allows you to search for individual companies.
This one from Jockey International highlights the potential of using your own company workforce to persuade stores to stock your product. Hmmmm?
Wednesday, July 16, 2003
Would You Ever Burn Your Life Savings?
A fed-up bank customer in Hong Kong withdrew his life savings of £27,000 and burned the money in the street in disgust at the bank's low interest rates.
The customer in question was angry when he learned that he had only been paid £1.37 interest by the bank for the last six months, now I agree I would be angry too if that happened to me, but I think burning your own money is just cutting off your face to spite your nose.
Luther Watch
Things continue to look up for Luther Vandross.
His publicist says the singer is now out of the hospital - and is being treated at a rehabilitation facility......
The three day 2003 Essence Music Festival held on 3-5th July in New Orleans paid tribute to Luther with a moving celebration of his music in one of the most memorable hours of the three-day musical event.... Luther had originally been billed to appear in the event, but had to cancel after suffering his stroke in April.
Tuesday, July 15, 2003
Arrrrgghhhh! TV Could Get Worse!
Haven't we suffered enough?
Thursday, July 10, 2003
Sounds Like Sour Grapes To Me
Cambridge-educated A S Byatt said adults who read Miss Rowling's books about Harry Potter are people of 'little imagination' immersed in a world of soap operas and reality TV shows.......
OK, she might not be the worlds greatest writer, but she does produce very readable books, and has made an awful lot of money doing so. I suspect Miss Byatt might be more than a teeny bit jealous, and effectively accusing the masses of ignorance is nothing short of snobbishness.
Despite being an opinionated pratt, aren't we all, Miss Byatt is right about one thing though, Terry Pratchett does compose some amazing sentences.
Tuesday, July 08, 2003
Which Happy Bunny Are You?
you are the "you suck, and that's sad"
happy bunny. your truthful, but can be a bit
brutal.
which happy bunny are you?
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Monday, July 07, 2003
How many new laws do you think the our current government have introduced since ousting the Tory party from power?
You wouldn't be far wrong if you answered around 650. Now I'm sure a fair number of those laws will be good laws and in the interest of the public, but doesn't the country have enough laws to deal with wrong doers. I mean will introducing laws to ban smoking in public places be of any use whatsoever? If you think hard and long about it, won't they be just as effective as the current anti litter laws, ie. totally ineffective.
We barely have enough police available to deal with real criminals with out criminalising even more of the population. It's my belief that using this particular sledge hammer to crack an anti social nut will result in the dilution of the already ineffective police force.
Our defenders of the law will be overrun with hitting even more soft option 'criminals' ie. smokers, just to show how many arrests they can make in a week. Real criminals such as thieves, murderers and rapists will have a field day, as the polically correct brigade shout foul every time some poor addict lights up. Will the law really be effective? I doubt it, just look at the amout of litter that blows around our streets that tells you how effective such laws are, or even will be.
Now I'm not a smoker and I certainly don't agree with people lighting up in restaurants, but I would say it's up to individual establishments to implement their own rules, then individuals can make a choice as to whether they wish to frequent public places where smokers are allowed to light up.
I say to Mr Blair and his idiot advisors, start concentrating on implementing our existing laws properly before you mess about with wishy-washy 1984 type claptrap. I could probably go on and on about this subject, but lack of time and a lack of a working PC means I have to end this mini rant here.